• Grandma: When are you going to get married and have babies?
  • Me: When gentlemen who are not douchebags choose to engage in conversation with me.
  • Grandma: Oh. So you're not going with anybody?
  • Me: No, because they're either assholes or gay.
  • Grandma: You're right!

Today’s Horoscope (Actually Knows Me)

"It is time to put away the sentimental feelings for the day and move to something new. Stop pulling out old photo albums and crying about past experiences. You will only succeed in sinking into a puddle of tears that you cannot pull yourself out of. Instead, this is a day to look to the future and plan for new experiences that you can enjoy with the people you love."

Teen Just Wants This Photo of Him and His Cat in the Yearbook

Teen Just Wants This Photo of Him and His Cat in the Yearbook

bryanmichaelcox:

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