Has anyone seen the new US passports? Crazy.
They’re like a minz missalette. And not bendy. Like a small leather-bound book that smells of rich mohogany.
The government hired an art director? No more pink and blue bad bathroom wallpaper in your grandma’s house action. This has carefully selected elements of Americana and quotes from presidents and two people I never even heard of, but I’m sure are important, woven throughout like a proud American tapestry of written word and art.
It comes with a microchip inside of it. (So you can walk through Customs EZ Pass lines with ease?)
Finally, whoever crafted my passport seriously alerted my photo. Like, big time. They made me platinum blonde and paler than I already am. I’m a Swede now.
…and I shall remain as such until I’m 37.
THE HELL?!
