I must confess I love this music video. Why?

- Spoken dialogue prologue

- Opening credit sequence

- Gratuitous sponsorship integrations (her own fragrance, Radiance, Swarovski timepiece, car I should probably be able to identify, but don’t)

- Americans inexplicably taking over England

- Surprisingly capable acting by non-actor

- Surprisingly capable abdominals by non-actor

- Landscape-sized faux back tattoos

- Real couple probably having real sex on camera (a.k.a the Director’s Cut is a full-fledged “tape”)

- Wardrobe reminiscent of a prior glorious video

- Hand gesture choreography

- A return to fabulous hair and makeup choices

- Credits

- Questionable thank-yous (“The White House”) and acknowledgements (“No vanilla candles were harmed in the making of this music video”) in said credits

Clearly Interscope wasted their entire budget for Robin on “Sex Therapy.”

Also, if I were Paula Patton, I would sit my fine pregnant self in the corner of that venetian blinds champagne room, stare that hooker extra down and let her know what’s up.

This Jay-Z music video is OOC. It’s like I’m seeing it for the first time each time I watch it.

soulDecision - “Faded”

Sorry. Now I can’t stop finding all these boyband jams!

This was the clean edit. Remember how the only guy who was hot in this group got to sing the first verse as, “When I get you all alone / I’m gonna take off all your clothes”? Bad ass.

I know my calculus! U + ME = US!

Seriously, if I looked like this, I would walk the streets 24 hours a day in leather pants. Preach, girl!